Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Epic Story

Mad Props to this guy, such an Epic story.  I posted a remark about this work, but I couldn't find the actual literature.  I found it and posted it as such, I hope its as deep a read for you as it was for me.  

The Egg
By: Andy Weir

You were on your way home when you died.
It was a car accident. Nothing particularly remarkable, but fatal nonetheless. You left behind a wife and two children. It was a painless death. The EMTs tried their best to save you, but to no avail. Your body was so utterly shattered you were better off, trust me.
And that’s when you met me.
“What… what happened?” You asked. “Where am I?”
“You died,” I said, matter-of-factly. No point in mincing words.
“There was a… a truck and it was skidding…”
“Yup,” I said.
“I… I died?”
“Yup. But don’t feel bad about it. Everyone dies,” I said.
You looked around. There was nothingness. Just you and me. “What is this place?” You asked. “Is this the afterlife?”
“More or less,” I said.
“Are you god?” You asked.
“Yup,” I replied. “I’m God.”
“My kids… my wife,” you said.
“What about them?”
“Will they be all right?”
“That’s what I like to see,” I said. “You just died and your main concern is for your family. That’s good stuff right there.”
You looked at me with fascination. To you, I didn’t look like God. I just looked like some man. Or possibly a woman. Some vague authority figure, maybe. More of a grammar school teacher than the almighty.
“Don’t worry,” I said. “They’ll be fine. Your kids will remember you as perfect in every way. They didn’t have time to grow contempt for you. Your wife will cry on the outside, but will be secretly relieved. To be fair, your marriage was falling apart. If it’s any consolation, she’ll feel very guilty for feeling relieved.”
“Oh,” you said. “So what happens now? Do I go to heaven or hell or something?”
“Neither,” I said. “You’ll be reincarnated.”
“Ah,” you said. “So the Hindus were right,”
“All religions are right in their own way,” I said. “Walk with me.”
You followed along as we strode through the void. “Where are we going?”
“Nowhere in particular,” I said. “It’s just nice to walk while we talk.”
“So what’s the point, then?” You asked. “When I get reborn, I’ll just be a blank slate, right? A baby. So all my experiences and everything I did in this life won’t matter.”
“Not so!” I said. “You have within you all the knowledge and experiences of all your past lives. You just don’t remember them right now.”
I stopped walking and took you by the shoulders. “Your soul is more magnificent, beautiful, and gigantic than you can possibly imagine. A human mind can only contain a tiny fraction of what you are. It’s like sticking your finger in a glass of water to see if it’s hot or cold. You put a tiny part of yourself into the vessel, and when you bring it back out, you’ve gained all the experiences it had.
“You’ve been in a human for the last 48 years, so you haven’t stretched out yet and felt the rest of your immense consciousness. If we hung out here for long enough, you’d start remembering everything. But there’s no point to doing that between each life.”
“How many times have I been reincarnated, then?”
“Oh lots. Lots and lots. An in to lots of different lives.” I said. “This time around, you’ll be a Chinese peasant girl in 540 AD.”
“Wait, what?” You stammered. “You’re sending me back in time?”
“Well, I guess technically. Time, as you know it, only exists in your universe. Things are different where I come from.”
“Where you come from?” You said.
“Oh sure,” I explained “I come from somewhere. Somewhere else. And there are others like me. I know you’ll want to know what it’s like there, but honestly you wouldn’t understand.”
“Oh,” you said, a little let down. “But wait. If I get reincarnated to other places in time, I could have interacted with myself at some point.”
“Sure. Happens all the time. And with both lives only aware of their own lifespan you don’t even know it’s happening.”
“So what’s the point of it all?”
“Seriously?” I asked. “Seriously? You’re asking me for the meaning of life? Isn’t that a little stereotypical?”
“Well it’s a reasonable question,” you persisted.
I looked you in the eye. “The meaning of life, the reason I made this whole universe, is for you to mature.”
“You mean mankind? You want us to mature?”
“No, just you. I made this whole universe for you. With each new life you grow and mature and become a larger and greater intellect.”
“Just me? What about everyone else?”
“There is no one else,” I said. “In this universe, there’s just you and me.”
You stared blankly at me. “But all the people on earth…”
“All you. Different incarnations of you.”
“Wait. I’m everyone!?”
“Now you’re getting it,” I said, with a congratulatory slap on the back.
“I’m every human being who ever lived?”
“Or who will ever live, yes.”
“I’m Abraham Lincoln?”
“And you’re John Wilkes Booth, too,” I added.
“I’m Hitler?” You said, appalled.
“And you’re the millions he killed.”
“I’m Jesus?”
“And you’re everyone who followed him.”
You fell silent.
“Every time you victimized someone,” I said, “you were victimizing yourself. Every act of kindness you’ve done, you’ve done to yourself. Every happy and sad moment ever experienced by any human was, or will be, experienced by you.”
You thought for a long time.
“Why?” You asked me. “Why do all this?”
“Because someday, you will become like me. Because that’s what you are. You’re one of my kind. You’re my child.”
“Whoa,” you said, incredulous. “You mean I’m a god?”
“No. Not yet. You’re a fetus. You’re still growing. Once you’ve lived every human life throughout all time, you will have grown enough to be born.”
“So the whole universe,” you said, “it’s just…”
“An egg.” I answered. “Now it’s time for you to move on to your next life.”
And I sent you on your way.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Black Friday IS OVER!

Whoelse partaked in the wondeerful joyous after Thanksgiving event known as Black Friday?

Workers working around the clock, people fighting for the last of even the dumbest of items, such as Toasters.

Truly the pinnacle of being an American Citizen.

This past Friday, I wanted a HDTV from Walmart.  The Electronics Sale they had would in total save me around 400$ on a tv, and I so desperately needed one.  The Sale they advertised started at 5 am, but i knew id have to be there early to capitalize on the lines, so me and a buddy left for the store at midnight.

What hecticcity that ensued...  At 12 AM the parking lot was full.  Walmart was open the entire night, and people were taking advantage.  People were lining up with entire carts full of the dumbest of stuff.  Haha it was kind of funny just sitting back waiting on a line watching the chaos.

After the for sale items were unleashed at 4am, people made mad dashes for products, i made off like a bandit with the tv, the stand/wall mount, 2 flash drives, 1.5 tb hd, and cables for almost half of what they normally retail for.  What a good day...

Haha oh wait.. forgot about the lines to get out of the damn store... I didn't get out until 7 am! Thats 7 hours in total stuck in a walmart...

Anyone else fight the rush for a big buy yesterday? :D

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Obligatory Thanksgiving Post

Happy Thanksgiving everybody! :D Stay safe, party lots, and eat a butt-load!

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Pokemon White and Black

Many people may not know this, but there are lots of differences between the new upcoming games, Pokemon Black and Pokemon White.  Now while many of us have the Japanese versions cause we couldn't wait for the english counterparts, I found this nifty little image displaying the differences.

Monday, November 22, 2010

Was away for Weekend

Sorry was away for weekend, visiting Georgia for a YCS.  Came in 64th place, will do a report on it later, but for now just a random pic i thought was quite humorous i saw online lol.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010


This guy is pretty funny, if you haven't seen him, look him up on YouTube, or watch his show on comedy central.

His show is essentially another one of those "Internet Viral Video" comedians, but this guy has a homosexual flair he adds to his jokes to make them EXTREMELY Hilarious.  I have seen all of season 1, and cannot for the life of me determine if he actually is homosexual, or if its an act.  Either way, he's hilarious and easily rising up on my favorite comedians list.

Everyone of his shows, he goes through like 8-10 Internet phenoms and does various things.  For some he merely shows the clips and makes several jokes.  He always has a "Timed Joke Marathon", where he has a clip run, and he sees how many jokes he can make in 20 seconds.  If these weren't actually written before hand this would be impressive. . . He has another section called "Video Breakdown" Where he shows a clip often showing a very painful situation that happened to someone.  He goes through the whole clip with slow-motion running or pausing it in parts to add some funny commentary.  One of the funniest parts of the show is then called the "Tosh.0 Web Redemption". This is where he shows a famous Internet clip where someone did something extremely embarrassing or something they messed up badly in, and goes out and finds them and fly them to the studio to try to do the thing again but this time hopefully succeed!  The whole time he doe's this he jabs at other comedians and makes dumb little jokes.  Just my type of humor. 

Definitely a must see on TV, and I'll make an effort to see him live on his Comedy Tour in '11.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Book of Made-up Facts

I want to make a book filled with one line sayings that seem legitamately sound.  Everything would sound correct, and if used in day to day conversation, the other party would have no evidence on hand to readily prove your fact wrong. 

Just for example, here are some:

"The moon has 1,394 individual craters"

"Like trees, people have rings located on the inside of their lungs denoting the humans age."

"A rock isn't technically a boulder until it reaches 5' ft cubic length or 200 pounds."

"Planes cannot dump there bathroom contents unless they are at least up 15,000 ft"

"Raccoons get angered by the color indigo"

Stuff like that, lol, is it fradulent to misinform people like this?

Friday, November 12, 2010


Did anyone else notice that yesterday had an instance where it was 11:11:11, 11/11/2010? :D I liked it lol.

People believe that when you make a wish at 11;11, it can come true. So this event signified a stronger bond to the number 1.

Did you know that they say the mayan calendar officially ends on December 21, 2012, at the time of 11:11.  Ironic because time zones arent being taken into account, so if this is true... we have a 12 hour discrepency on when the end will occur...

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Mazda 3

Thats not the particular car that i just recently bought, but its close.  

Over the weekend, I sold my 99' Corolla Le, great condition, and on Monday I went and looked at various Honda Models, and Mazda Models.  After like 5 hours I decided on a beautiful Mazda 3, 2006 Blue S Trim.  It felt amazing while driving, sure it needed a little interior cleaning, and maybe an alignment, but it felt amazing.  I have yet to actually drive it around as its still waiting on the lot waiting for me to get my previous insurance and registration cards back from the buyers of my old car for the sale to go through.  Talk about sitting on pins and needles.  Can't wait to go "ZoomZoomZoom" :(

Friday, November 5, 2010

On New Computer

Currently I am on the majority of my new computer.

Its amazing.. I'm on my new Acer 23" widescreen LCD, with 8 GB of Ram, Gigabyte mobo, 3.4 Mhz Intel Processor, only things missing are im on a crappy windows xp till i get my 7 cd, and also im on a friends Radeon 4850... I gotta wait for my gtx 470 :( Soon... Soon... lol

I'm not greedy though, I'm loving the looks of all the crystal clear graphics :D Cant wait till i get the better card! 

Nowww heres a random gif of a cat x.X

Wednesday, November 3, 2010


What are we?

We May be living/breathing humans.  But there's so much more... What happens when we die? Which religion is right? No one knows.  No offense, but i think as sober individuals, we don't have the thinking prowess that we need to even try to comprehend these answers.  We need individuals to constantly do drugs/drink to try and find the most mystifying of lifes' answers.

I am most partial to the answer that we are one and the same.  Just think we are all the same individual but in different lifetimes.  Like for example, as of my experience of now, I am me, just a humble funny college student, but my next life is hitler, or george washington, or a small asian girl in the phillipines, but it repeats over and over to be another lifepoint of someone else.  Just freaken imagine it.  Its so fucking deep... How cool would it be though? To experience all of life... its troubles, its pleasures.... and once its all finally done.. You can reflect on everything you learned.

Which religion is correct?  Theres hundreds.. Christianity? Jewism? (lol jk)  We can all hope and pray... when you look at all of them from a distance, all of them sound good!  But what if its just nothing... we're just dead... its like a night of sleep when you have no dream. . . . for all of eternity.. . That will be the worst choice of all, but sadly that might just be how it actually is! Thats where science is saying what it is like...

At funerals, you're told not to cry out of sadness, and what once was... but to be happy that your loved ones has finally moved over to the eternal afterlife, the better part of existance... but what if thats not true... What do you do when your dead? Imagine the eternal tortures of constantly thinking without being to vent.. Thats why im typing this all here... expressing my thoughts into words for the meeger 3 of you to read this... Wanting to scream to a love one how much you truly love them... That's why I guess whoever the greater power (if there is one at all) wants us on here.  Its sorta a test, to see how well we live the life we're given no matter how short it is...

Not gonna lie then, if that's the challenge, to go out and try to find true happiness, then i fucking fail horribly.. There have been many a time where I should've gone out and told you I loved you... Hell, if it didn't reciprate well, then who gives a damn? But if it did? I'd be the happiest man on the planet. lol, theres many men on the planet that think like this... We can be the toughest guys on print, but in real life? We just can't muster the courage... Guys/Girls.. Women/men.. You're amazing you truly are.  There's a reason we're on this planet we just have to find it.  And if it's true I am you, I love you and you love me :P and Fuck barney for those copyright issues... haha